Desperate

God is our “ezer”, our sustainer. He is our “ezer kenegdo”; he is our sustainer who is beside us. These Hebrew words, “ezer kenegdo”, are translated by Alter as “sustainer beside him”. They are the words used to describe the helper God made for Adam. We, as women, are sustainers. We are meant to help those around us. I hope that we can learn to be sustainers for each other in prayer, kind encouraging words, and friendship.But what is the sustainer supposed to mean for us? And since the word sustainer is used in reference to God 20 other times in the Old Testament, then how does God sustain us?The sustainer comes to the rescue of those who are desperate. I searched around and found these words on the Words of Hope website.“I am desperate” are words you will hear quite often in the USA. They are the words of a person who has lost hope. The person feels he is being forced to surrender to absolute doom. The person may “feel on edge.” He or she is about to do something rash and maybe dangerous. I feel the Psalm writer is expressing these feelings of complete hopelessness. He feels alone, isolated, attacked in surroundings that give him no comfort. God seems to be absent and unavailable. But, he is desperate for God and that is good. Our deepest need is not for any thing, but for God.I also found a song that seemed to really spell out desperation. Fireflight calls it “Desperate”. The music is not really my style but the power of the words and the story Dawn tells of how the song came to be, I just had to share it. I hope you might find the time to listen and watch the video on their media page entitled Desperate.Here is a portion of the lyrics:I know You hear me, would You give me sign?Reel me in before I fall out of lineYou put me on a path I don’t understandI’m standing on a ledge waving my hands(You’ve got me desperate)Do You see me?(Desperate)Do You hear me?(Desperate)Will You help me?You’ve got me DesperateI know You’re my only hopeThe only One who truly knowsHow it feels, what it’s like when it all starts to fallYou’re the One I can trust who hears when I callHere is what Dawn said: “This song is about being in a place where you have pushed past all of your own abilities, and you come to realize that if God doesn’t come through for you, you’re not going to be able to survive. Sometimes in those times we don’t understand why God hasn’t done something yet, and we feel like we can’t even see Him anymore, but it’s during those hardest times that God really comes through in the biggest way. This song is about just being desperate for God and crying out for Him and just demanding that He step into your situation and help you.” Dawn Michele (Fireflight)Below would be my own attempt to explain desperation and my Sustainer.I am desperate for God. I am like the deer that pants for water. I am like a man dying in the desert with no food or water. I am desperate. I need you God to be here for me. You sustain me. No one else will do for me.I have seen the road ahead, just a few steps, and I am more than dreading it. I am petrified with fear. I cannot see how this is your plan for me. I don’t understand how this is how you are providing for me. Show me your kindness, Lord. Show me your grace. I cannot move my feet from fear at the sight of the next few steps ahead.But you Lord, you sustain me. You are the one who walks alongside me. You hold my hand. You watch me with solicitous eyes. You help me over the huge obstacles in my way. You polish me into the finest gold. You use my weaknesses and my failures to show to those around me how marvelous you are. You keep me close to your heart.You Lord are my sustainer and nothing can separate me from your presence. You fill me with peace even though there is no peace to be had. You fill me with calm when those around me storm with rage. You give me knowledge and wisdom to know which way to step and which way to turn. I am able to help those around me. I am your servant and I am your child. You are my Abba Father, the one I turn to for comfort. You give me gentleness when I feel ready to stomp out the door. You settle me down. You bring patience storming into my being to chase out any annoyance.You are my sustainer who comes alongside me. You sent your Spirit to comfort me and reveal to me everything I need to follow you and walk in your plan.Psalm 42:1-3 As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him? Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?”

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