Recently I was diagnosed with depression, enough that my doctor wanted me to go on medication. It was an emotional talk for me because I’ve always had trouble asking for help. Rarely do I ask my family for help. I want to be able to find hope and peace with God for myself. If I am only strong enough, I can make it by myself.
But that isn’t true, is it?
It takes the power of God through the sacrifice of Jesus to make it in this life. No matter how much I hide from my emotions or the storms of life, I cannot move forward without God.
Is it wrong to submit to my doctor and add another medication to combat depression? I didn’t want to do it, but I’ve tried to be strong and push forward for nine months. Even last year I could feel myself cringing at the thought of everything I had to do, even the things I love.
So I submitted. Trying not to feel like a failure, I picked up my prescription. It will be a long month, waiting for the medication to begin working. I am determined not to need it but a small part of me is relieved. Just four more weeks and then I can enjoy things again.
As a list-maker, I searched for checklists of things to do to fight depression. Many of them seemed too simplified for me and I was relieved I hadn’t sunk too low.
My list turned into a breakdown of my goal for this year.
- Spend the next two months doing the Tim Timmons 10000 minutes challenge to live with Jesus instead of for Jesus.
- Eat nothing I’m allergic to – no wheat, corn, soy, nuts, peanuts, eggs, or sesame seeds. Focus on fresh, organic meat, vegetables, and fruits.
- Build up my exercise to 15 minutes three times a day. Do my stretches several times a day.
- Write. Edit. Publish. Begin writing again, every day. Continue to edit The Detective. Publish my mom’s newest book.
- Play praise music and less of anything else.
- Find an accountability partner to pray with.
- Be joyful and grateful for time with family.
And continue to work faithfully at my day job.
But how will I do it?
Through the power of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, I will ask for the help I need from God, my family, and my friends. And I know God loves me and will be with me through the next year of changes. Hope and peace with God will not fail me.
“First God declares us right and then He makes us right too. God does this through the power of Jesus.
We have been made right through faith in God. And we get to experience the peace with God through Jesus Christ, our liberating King.
Jesus takes us to a place of grace where we can celebrate hope. Our hope is in experiencing God’s glory.
No matter how much we suffer, if we turn our hope to God we can develop endurance which will shape our attitudes and thinking. As our attitudes and thoughts are refined, we learn what it means to anticipate God’s goodness in our lives.
And that hope will not fail to satisfy our deepest need. God’s Spirit floods our hearts with God’s love.”
Paraphrased from Romans 5:1-5