My life is very much like mowing my lawn. It isn’t a very perfect lawn. There are some tiny ditches and holes here and there. The grass is uneven. Some of the grass grows fast and some areas of the lawn look kind of brown. There are different types of grass and even some weeks.
I like to mow in a pattern but sometimes I can’t see where I have been. I also am not sure where I should be going. It seems pointless to mow over certain areas because it isn’t clear whether is has been done before. I just have to mow in faith that this is the row. And if I some how got off and have to back track or mow some parts twice – then, oh well – I do it twice.
But I keep going and realize that I’m getting exercise and sunshine. I’m helping my husband. And when I get done I can see a nice lawn and have a drink.
The is the same with my life. I sometimes feel like my life is disjointed. It looks uneven. It seems pointless to go over some emotional or spiritual ground again because I’m not sure if it has been done before, or if it worked. I’m not sure if I need to keep going in the direction I’m going. But I do know that I need to keep going.
I have asked God to lead me and show me where to go. My life doesn’t necessarily look like I’m doing anything in the right order. I might look like I am just going over the same things again. But maybe I didn’t. Maybe I need to do it again. And maybe I need to trust that God knows what I am doing even if I don’t.
So I mow over the grass. And sometimes I can tell that this hasn’t been done yet. And I feel like I’m accomplishing something. But even if it feels like I’m doing the same things over and over again, then I know I am doing what God said to do. I know that God knows why I’m doing this even if I don’t. And God knows what I will find tomorrow.
Psalm 119:1-8 You’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
You’re blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him. That’s right—you don’t go off on your own; you walk straight along the road he set.
You, God, prescribed the right way to live; now you expect us to live it. Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping to the course you set; Then I’d never have any regrets in comparing my life with your counsel.
I thank you for speaking straight from your heart; I learn the pattern of your righteous ways. I’m going to do what you tell me to do; don’t ever walk off and leave me.