Recently I began reading an old devotional book that reminds me to let go. I love to take control of things in my life and I love to feel like I am in control of my life. I have to be reminded that I am not in control. I have to be reminded that there are things that I can change and things that I cannot change.
My job situation is not something I can change all by myself. My children and my husband I cannot change at all. And I cannot change me all by myself. I require the help of God and other Christians. I require help to even know how to pray.
I am learning that it is okay to feel sad or helpless. That it is okay to ask for help. I am learning that the more I let go and let God and others help me I can be simply me. I am healing from my past, my past job, my past mistakes and my past experiences. God is the one who heals me. I just need to let him.
Sometimes I get scared of life and I ignore things that I know I need to do. When I am feeling out of control I clutter. Then the clutter surrounds me and I get overwhelmed. So I am praying for God to help me let go of my fears and take care of the clutter. I need to clean.
I created a poster for my wall years ago to remind myself of this. It says: Trust God, Trust Yourself, and Do the Dishes! This is to remind me that part of trusting God is to trust in myself. It is also doing the things that need to be done. My grandmother called it: Putting the dinger on.
When grandma put on the dinger, she set the timer in the kitchen. She would set it for 15 minutes and then she would clean or do household chores until it dinged. She would reward herself with playing the piano for 5 minutes. She realized this gave her a goal and gave her a reward for accomplishing that goal.
God gives us desires and passions for different things in life. My passions and desires are different from my husband. They are different from my two daughters even though in some ways we are very much alike. It is those passions and desires that help make us unique.
I have been searching for how to express my passions and desires. I have been asking God where should I volunteer and what should I do to help people? What kind of job would be the best kind of job for me? Where can I do that?
In my search I was reading in I Timothy. Paul talks about the gift, the calling that was bestowed on Timothy. I felt compelled to research the original words for that verse. I read the verse in several translations. I found a Hebrew-Greek study bible and read all of the notes. This is what I discovered.
The prophecies or gift that was given to Timothy was not given as a one-time thing. It is the ministry of Timothy and it renews everyday. Each day he can ask God to refill him with the passion. Each day he can ask God to give him the tools he needs to do his ministry. Each day he knows that he is not alone in his ministry or his passion. God walks with him every step of the way.
Paul says in Ephesians that he prays for God to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do.
I want to know what it is that God is calling me to do. I want to have my eyes focused and clear. I want to know him personally. I want to be intelligent and discerning. I want to see the hope of God. I want to see the glorious riches that he has for me. I want to know God is walking with me every day.
1 Timothy 1:17-19 (New Century Version)
To the King that rules forever, who will never die, who cannot be seen, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.
Timothy, my child, I am giving you a command that agrees with the prophecies that were given about you in the past. I tell you this so you can follow them and fight the good fight. Continue to have faith and do what you know is right. Some people have rejected this, and their faith has been shipwrecked.
Again in the Wycliffe New Testament: I betake this commandment to thee, thou son Timothy, after the prophecies that have been heretofore in thee, that thou travail in them a good travail.
Ephesians 1:17-19 [For I always pray to] the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, that He may grant you a spirit of wisdom and revelation [of insight into mysteries and secrets] in the [deep and intimate] knowledge of Him,
By having the eyes of your heart flooded with light, so that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you, and how rich is His glorious inheritance in the saints (His set-apart ones),
And [so that you can know and understand] what is the immeasurable and unlimited and surpassing greatness of His power in and for us who believe, as demonstrated in the working of His mighty strength,
Language of Letting Go
http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1904
