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Should’ves

As a parent you might be thinking: I should’ve been a better spiritual leader. I should’ve been more patient. I should’ve spent more time with my children and spouse. I should’ve been a better example. I’m too late. What do I do?

First, what is past is past. Let it go.

Now is the time to open communication with your children, be a better spiritual leader now, be more patient now, spend more time with your children and spouse and be a better example now.

So, how to start? Start by being honest. Say what is troubling you. Apologize. Tell your children and your spouse you love them. Give them hugs if at all possible.

Let them know that they can be honest with you. Let them know that you will listen without judging. Then give them the opportunity to talk and really listen – without judging!

Pray together.

“Should’ve” is a word that creates guilt and shame. It creates a yearning to turn back the clock, to do do-overs. It is a dwelling-on what might have been!

When I look back, I think I should have been more aware of my children’s needs,
and the needs of my husband. Not so inwardly focused on my life or work. I wish I had cherished my husband more through the years and built him up, nurtured him as a person.

Most of all, I should have been more in earnest about this man Jesus. Utilized prayer more through the years for my children.

One thing about a should-have — in the eternal matters — it is never too late to change the should-have into an active ‘being’.

Philippians 3:12-14 I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

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