Worried Hearts

God’s ways have never been my ways. I search and try to find his ways but my impatience gets in the way. I hurry when I should go slowly and dawdle when I should be moving. The contrariness of my nature concerns me and I wonder if my heart is pure.

I want to reach out to others and give them more than I have but what I have is only a smile and a word. I want to be strong but inside I quiver with fear and wonder if I will be able to stand again. I head into the thick of things, determined to do right, but I feel I fall short of what is needed.

Am I truly living in God’s reality? Am I seeing the needs around me correctly? Am I correct in assuming what I can do? Or is my mind clouded by the things weighing me down? Am I seeing the whole picture?

1st John 3 talks about reaching out in love to those around me. If I see someone in need and I have what he or she need, should I not give it to him or her? Is this not the love that God wants us to share? I can show love in prayer and that is good. We should all pray for one another. But if I can show love in a more tangible way wouldn’t that be even better?

This week I transitioned out of my job. I am no longer working. So I have joined the many others searching for employment. The most striking thing about the meetings and advice that I have come across is the helping each other. When I meet someone I now ask, “How can I help you?” This is how God is meeting the needs of his people in this time. His people are asking each other, “How can I help you?” But even more, meaning it when they ask. What do you need?

One of my biggest issues is the talk I hear in my head. I’ve done this wrong and that wrong. I made this mistake and that mistake. I said that this job is not a good fit for me. I am out here looking for a job because I could not do the one I had.

But God says, when I practice real love, working to meet the needs of others, I am living in God’s reality. And when I live in God’s reality it shuts down self-criticism – even it there is something to it!

God know more about me than I do. He knows what I am capable of doing. He knows the reality of what I have accomplished better than I do, because he can see it without the guilt or shame clouding the view. He isn’t looking on with a worried heart. He knows me and he knows what he has for me.

So I need to not listen to the voices in my head but I need to trust in his promises. I need to practice real love and let others show real love to me. I need to accept help joyfully, gratefully. And I need to praise God for his faithfulness to me.

He will not let me down. He will not fail me. He will not let me be ashamed or disappointed. He loves me. His people love me. And I will trust him with my job search, my finances and my family.

1 John 3: 18-20 My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

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