I still feel very young. I feel like I never did grow up. I don’t have it all figured out. I don’t feel like I have the experience I need. I feel like I don’t live up to whatever expectations there are.I don’t keep a really clean house. I don’t like housework. I don’t like cooking. I don’t like baking. I don’t feel good in the kitchen. I feel like a failure there.I do the laundry but I don’t like clothes. I like comfortable clothes. I don’t really care if they are fashionable. I’m not good at shopping. I hate shopping. I don’t feel like I can live up to the idea of a women who goes out and makes bargains, finds bargains to get what her family needs. I don’t feel good in stores. I feel like a failure there.I can help people. I like to help people, but sometimes I don’t know what to do to help. Sometimes what I can do isn’t helping. If I can’t help people, how can be a woman? How can I do this when I am failing as a woman?I feel unseen. I feel as though those with whom I spend my days cannot see me. I feel unwelcome sometimes. I feel as though I am not really here. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and not moving forward. I feel unseen.I feel unsought. I feel like no one is interested in what I can do. I feel like I cannot make a contribution to the family budget. I feel like I am lost and I cannot find my way. I feel worthless. I feel ignored. I feel like no one cares how I spend my days.I feel uncertain. I have no idea which way to turn. How do I go on with my life? What direction should I be going? Am I even doing the right thing right now? Am I being a woman of God or am I just floating long?I feel unsure. I want to be a woman of God. I look at my desires and I see that I desire to help with the family finances. I see that God has given me a desire to be wanted. God has given me the desire to be able to be an irreplaceable part of a life story. I want be the one who is taken care of for a little bit. Just for a little bit. I want to be captivating in who I am. I want to have unrelenting courage, vulnerability and faith in God, like Ruth. I want to be brave and have cunning; I want to have a good heart like Esther. I want to have beauty that can be felt and that affects others. I want my beauty to be forever uniquely Gods.I am unique. How God works in me is different than how he works in any other person. I am unique and full of promise. I belong to God and his way of living. How did Jesus live?He saw people. He really saw people, down deep, and he saw their worth. He loved people. He loved them with his Father’s love. He loved them enough to die on the cross for them. He loved them enough to cry over them. He loved them enough to have compassion for them. He loved them enough to heal them and feel them. How can I be more like Jesus? How can I lean on him when I don’t feel like I’m enough? How can I depend on him when I feel unseen, unsought, and uncertain? How can I be more me, the me I am in Christ?

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