This week I had an appointment with a renowned glaucoma expert. It was going to be over two hours. I was having my eyes dilated and needed someone to drive me. It turned into this big deal, since I couldn’t see that well. I had to take the day off of work.

We left early and got there in time. The ladies at the front were very nice and patient. I imagine because of the demographic of the patients he sees. It was a simple office with lots of white. There were white walls, white tile floors, light colored carpet and huge windows. It would be a nice place to work.

I waited quite awhile and then waited in another room. Then I got digital pictures of my eyes and then waited in another room. That room sat right across from the window and I could watch the tree blow in the wind. It was very peaceful. It was a good thing because I waited for a long time in there.

The final time the doctor came he looked at my eyes again. He wrote on my chart and said I definitely did not have glaucoma yet. Then he said the oddest thing. “Now we have the facts. Let’s talk philosophy. We can go two different ways. One way to go would be to wait and see. To check back every so often to see if anything changes. The other way would be to take a proactive stance. He would start me on drops to lower the pressure in my eyes to help prevent any more damage to my eyes.

I chose to be proactive with my eye medication. I also want to be proactive in my Christian life. I want to make sure I am going the correct way. I want to go with God. I want to move with God. I want to follow God and his leading as Abram did when Abram went one way and Lot went another.

I want to be proactive in listening to God. I know he answers prayers. He may answer one way or he may answer another way, but he always answers. I just don’t always see the answer because I am looking in the wrong place or at the wrong thing.

My tortured soul wants to go one way but always ends up going the other way. If I can’t be trusted to figure out the best thing for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that I need God’s help. And boy, do I need God’s help.

Galatians 5:16-18 My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

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