In Forgiving, I am Forgiven

We live in a Kingdom that Forgives

We are saved by the grace given freely by the Almighty God, which manifests through forgiveness, healing, and restoration. And we can confidently stand in God’s presence, knowing that we are redeemed by Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross.

When we forgive as God forgives, we unlock freedom in our hearts. That fills our lives with blessings, joy, and gratefulness. We are no longer victims; we are victorious in Christ Jesus.

But how do we forgive when the wrongs done to us don’t quit? Jesus spoke several times about forgiveness. He said to forgive seven times seventy. More than just a number, this phrase uses the perfect number seven and multiplies it, meaning forever.

Repay Evil with Blessing

Another time, Jesus asks us to repay evil with blessings. If a man forces us to carry his things a mile, then carry them an additional mile. If he steals your coat, give him your shirt also. We are to pray for those who offend us, hurt us, or condemn us wrongly.

What happens when we pray for them? Let’s think about that. Peter says we will be blessed by forgiving those who do us wrong.

1 Peter 3:8-9 Finally, all of you, be like-minded and show sympathy, love, compassion, and humility to and for each other— not paying back evil with evil or insult with insult, but repaying the bad with a blessing. It was this you were called to do, so that you might inherit a blessing.

Let’s start with our brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus. We should be like-minded, showing sympathy, love, compassion, and humility to and for each other. That entails quite a bit. What does Peter mean by like-minded?

Unity is possible and necessary regardless of our age, ethnicity, or background differences. We manifest this attitude of unity when we love one another with selfless, sacrificial love. It seems easy to forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus. Surely, they will see the error of their ways and how they have hurt us.

My Personal Journey

As a young child, teen, young woman, mother, wife, and grandmother, I have always considered myself a forgiving person. I don’t hold grudges. I am generally a positive person. But I learned over the past ten years that is not who I am. When someone hurts me, I run away. I retreat. I pull myself back. If you hurt one of my kids or grandkids, watch out. I’m coming for you. But this isn’t working out well for me. I need to approach this in a different way. But how?

The Lord God asks us to forgive, but I don’t know how. How do I distinguish between removing myself from an unhealthy situation and bearing a grudge?

I know stuffing it all back inside and continuing to be a giving, loving person, spreading encouragement and hope, does not work forever. Eventually, the Holy Spirit will knock on that door where I keep the bad stuff and wounds. He wants to heal me.

When those things creep out, I realize I haven’t forgiven any of it. It’s all still there, festering, making me sad, angry, resentful, and depressed. Depression comes from feelings that have never been dealt with, and I had a lot of feelings stuffed inside. I don’t cry like my husband or my mother. Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me.

Forgiveness isn’t easy.

Most of the hurts in my life were accidental, incidental, childish behavior, misunderstandings, and overhearing words not meant for my ears. But some were from abuse. Some were threats to my children’s welfare. And a few were intentional. Is the forgiving different depending on the hurt?

Not really. Forgiving begins with a desire. You see, I had to start at the beginning. I want to forgive all these people because I want to be healed. And I want the depression gone. I want to change my relationships with God and my family and actually be a friend.

So, my prayer starts with this:

Lord, help me to want to forgive the ones who have hurt me. I can repay the hurt with a blessing by praying for that person. Give me the words and the desire to pray in the power of Your Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ, my Lord. You give me strength, and then I can do all things.

This began a road to healing and forgiveness.

Through prayer, God begins to bless me. He also blesses those who have hurt me. The Spirit of God works in me to will and to do His good pleasure. I find myself turning to prayer throughout the day. I’m praying for our leaders to hear God’s voice, experience His presence, and be filled with the joy, peace, and love of God. I pray for my family, for their health, their minds, and their state of mind, that God will bless them mightily with His presence in their life. And they will know His love. I pray for friends I haven’t seen in forever, some near, some far, some new, and ask God to bless their lives with a visible sign of God’s care for them.

Days of prayer turn into months and then years. Some hurts take longer to heal than others. It isn’t about my will being done—nothing is under my control—but I want to see God’s will be done.

The Spirit of Forgiveness

The Spirit of forgiveness is relaxed, free of worry, with no grudges, and not in a rush. Forgiveness can’t be rushed. To be true healing of my heart and my relationships, I have to dwell on it and pray about it. I must forgive myself, too. And with God’s help, I can do that by the power of the Spirit through Jesus Christ.

If I can’t pray for someone to be blessed, I haven’t forgiven them. God will bless them in God’s way, and God’s way will lead them to a new heart. Justice without love and mercy is not forgiveness. I wouldn’t want God to judge me the same way I have judged them. But He has declared my forgiveness and righteousness in Christ Jesus. I don’t deserve it, but I am a loved child of God.

Where am I now? Still praying.

In Christ Jesus, I am too blessed to hold a grudge and to spend one minute being hot and bothered. I don’t have time for unforgiveness. Through God’s grace, I bless those who hurt me. I let forgiveness grow in me. I forgive and release to the Eternal One, God Almighty, who Provides for me. In Christ Jesus, I have the victory that overcomes the world. So, I am a victor, not a victim.

Lord Jesus, Father God, and the Holy Spirit do a miracle in our hearts. Help us to let go of grudges. Show us how to forgive ourselves. We open our hands and let go of the law and fear. You are more than enough for us.