Not in Control

My life has been out of control recently. At least, it has been more out of control than usual. Occasionally I suffer from dizziness. Sometimes that dizziness is actually more vertigo with the accompanying nausea. Usually this vertigo is caused by congestion in my ears from colds, viruses, or allergies. I have medication to take for the dizziness but sometimes it is only decongestion that really helps.

Because of this impairment I have had to do most of my errands over the last week with someone else driving. If anyone recalls the problems I had teaching my kids to drive, they might remember how much I screamed. But apparently I have been reading enough scripture and meditating enough on how to trust God. I didn’t scream. And I barely flinched.

I look at this short period of time as a refresher of sorts. I was able to spend hours with my daughter as she drove me patiently from errand to errand. We were able to talk about things. We got a lot accomplished. And, as I said, I barely flinched.

Also during this time I allowed other people in the household to help me with things that needed done. I slowed down and changed priorities for a few days. I relaxed my hold on control of my destiny for a few days. I remembered that I am not in control. God is.

I may not be able to finish everything today. I may have to put things off until tomorrow. I may put them off until next week when things might be easier. Most of all, I don’t hassle myself that I was unable to do everything on my list today. It’s okay. God will help me.

And I will remember that I want him to take control of my lists and tell me what is the most important thing to do today. When I have finished that, then he can show me the next important thing. Sometimes what I do is urgent but most times it is not. It is not always the most compelling or even the most enjoyable. But it is next, and God leads me to do it, now. And when I have finished, it is done.

So even though I am “more organized” now, using a computer list that regenerates things and reminds me of what I need to do, it is not controlling my life. It is not imperative that I finish it all. I am not a sluggard if I end up laying down holding my head or I need a nap. But I pray to him for guidance and hope that I follow his leading. I trust in him. And try to work hard when I can.

I’m not sure how this relates to being in control or to the scriptures that God gave me. But I will try to do what is fair and just, I will be compassionate and loyal, and I won’t take myself too seriously. I thank God that he comes alongside of me when I go through these things and that he brings others who come alongside of me to help me or that I may help them in some way.

Micah 6:8 But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don’t take yourself too seriously – take God seriously.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.

We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too.

Philippians 4:11-14 Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty.

Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don’t mean that your help didn’t mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

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