My father and my father-in-law have both been diagnosed with dementia. Seemingly overnight, both my mother and my mother-in-law have become the primary caretakers for their spouses.
This disease, dementia, is actually many hundreds of diseases grouped under the category of dementia. There are many types of dementia. Some are similar to Alzheimer’s, and one is Lewy Body Dementia.
Diagnosis can be helpful
These diseases can be very progressive (or stay hidden for a prolonged time), and the prognosis seems to be loss of life in 5 to 8 years. Others are slower, easier to catch, and can last up to 20 years. It is difficult to know unless you go to specialists who find out exactly which disease your loved one might have.
My father has Lewy Body Dementia. He has good days and bad days. Sometimes, he is just drained. Sometimes, he hallucinates. My mother was better able to handle things once he was diagnosed, and she read the symptoms and progression of the disease. Just knowing where things are going has been a help.
Asking for help is necessary
It is also scary. One of my nieces read the notebook my mom started on the disease. It shows the progression in the different stages, following it through death. My mom said that she cried as she read it. It is hard to say goodbye to a loved one. It is even more challenging when they don’t leave except in their minds.
My father-in-law has not been specifically diagnosed, that I know of. I am not sure what the doctor has told my mother-in-law. She is scared for things to change. She has been waiting for them to return to how they were. She is now on the road to getting some much-needed help and support that is local. Since we live so far away, we can only do so much by taking trips every six weeks and making phone calls.
Dementia is scary
But knowledge is better than ignorance. Many websites offer help and explain what the diseases are and where they are going, which makes it less scary.
